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Sabrina, fifteen. I only blog when I feel like it. I don't expect and do not wish anyone would read whatever I write as they are written out of pure boredom and I will most probably be embarrassed if you went to my older posts but I'm too lazy to delete things so yeah.


that annoying feeling // Tuesday
5:43 PM


heylo people with no lives. well, today I'm gonna talk about something called trust. You see, I've always been very neutral when it comes to trusting someone. I don't find it hard to trust someone and have my own personal space. I actually trust people quite easily. But not too easy until I end up hurting myself. I'm pretty much somewhere in the middle. nods nods.
If you knew me, you'd know that I've always had friends around me. And I'm thankful for that, really. Sometimes I recall back and remember how lonely I was in kindergarten and as I grew older, people just seem to be fine and I can communicate with them. But, you know, not every story is perfect. That's the colors and surprises of life, as said as a very wise man I know. Recently, I've just gotten into a fight with one of the few people I've actually care about. It wasn't a big deal, whatever but still, it kinda effected my personal views on you know, stuffs like, life. I'm a sentimental whore when it comes to this stuff so just psh, no judging. I'm actually mad at myself right now. Not a certain angry way, more of a disappointment.
Looking back at how I treated people I call friends kinda made me disappointed of myself. I started fighting with my best friends at the age of 8 but who cares, it's just mere fighting. I started isolating friends and backstabbing them when I was, 10 I think? It's actually wrong of me to do that. But I was kid, I changed right? Not so much. The last time I actually do this kind of stuff, you know, acting nice in front of them and listening to their problems, keeping their secrets but to actually blurt it out and tell their secrets to another person, a person they're friends with, talking bad shit about them when they tell you, you're one of the few people they trust. It's a very wrong thing for me to do, for anyone to do. When I was recalling my life and what I've done wrong. I knew I've never done such a thing. The worst I've done was to boycott someone and that person actually ended up to be my best friend till this very day. 
I don't know what made me do that. And I feel guilty about it but I'm not sorry for what I've told. It's wrong, right? Now I'm mentally killing myself for feeling that way. It's sad how I've changed in that sort of way. People say we mature each day but I'm starting to feel like I was much more mature 10 years ago. Anyways, I just needed a place to get this annoying feeling off my chest. If anyone I know read this and think it's them I'm talking about, don't worry, it's no one who can access this very website so calm yo titties. But it's probably someone you know, wait no, nvm. If you can actually read this right now, it's not you, the end. Bye